Did I really just say that aloud?

I had "the experience" the other day. If you’ve had it you know what I’m talking about.

I was asked to share my personal story at a recent Talent Dividend Council meeting (If you’re not familiar with this initiative of the Greater Milwaukee Committee you must read up). I had a nice little speech written up. I would talk about growing up in Milwaukee and attending public school, about watching the toll the economy took on those around me, the friends that moved away when they could no longer pay the bills, parents going back to work, and kids getting jobs in high school to help support their families. I would talk about how the loss of my father and my mother losing her job shaped my high school experience. How finding yourself in a single-parent home is tough and how important internship and pre-college programs are to kids like me.

Wait…..did I just refer to my family as a single-parent home? It’s true. My dad passed away my freshman year in high school. I’ve never really thought of my situation that way. Maybe I’ve written it, or thought it in passing, but I never absorbed it or considered the real impact that had on my life. I've never said it aloud.

That’s "the experience" I’m talking about: the moment you say something aloud and it resonates. It sticks.

Needless to say, that’s not exactly the kind of experience you want to have when presenting in front of a room full of people. I totally lost my place and ended up rambling on about something.

You see, I spent a great deal of time in my master’s program researching studies and facts about high school students, what gives them an edge and what can negatively impact their success rates. Never did I consider myself to be in that at-risk category. Factually, I was a child in a single family home. Factually, neither of my parents had a four-year degree. It’s clear. But clearly, no one ever bothered to tell me that was me, that I should be checking that box.

It reminds me of the first time I said aloud that I was going through a divorce. There is something more real about it when you say it. It’s not necessarily that other people hear it - it’s that you can hear it. Do I feel differently now that I’ve had "the experience," now that I’ve said it aloud? I don’t think so. But, I think I'll listen differently to other people. I look closer. I’m less likely to rely on people to tell me their needs and more apt to read between the lines. Not everyone is ready to say it aloud.