A Tragic Loss for Kobi

I have often wondered, how do you help a young child when he/she loses someone special? Well, we are in that situation now.

Wednesday night, Kobi lost a very special young lady unexpectedly who he considered a sister. It is so odd because on the day she passed away, he said, "You know, I love Maile the best." We said, "Really, what about your big sister Erica?" He said, "Nope, I love Maile more and then I love Erica." We told him, "OK, just don't tell Erica."

Maile was Erica's life long partner and it has been devastating for all of us.

We told Kobi the next morning when he woke up because he could see something was wrong. We told him she went to heaven to be with God. He said, "That's OK, when God is done playing with her, she will come back and play with me." We explained she will not be coming back. He then wanted to call her on the phone and we just kept telling him he can't talk to her on the phone.

This has been a devastating blow to the whole family. It just doesn't seem real.

Kobi has been spending a lot of time these past few days with people who love him so we can help get all the arrangements made and to help our daughter with her grief.

We are picking Kobi up tonight and hoping that we can help him deal with this a little better.

Before he left yesterday morning he made designs on a piece of paper. He gave it to me because he knew Erica and I were sad. He told me these circles were his happy thoughts for Erica and myself. He also told me that Erica and I are in his heart and when he hugs Erica, his heart goes ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump because he loves her so much.

So now we try to move on knowing that this loss will always be with us and we try to help both Erica and Kobi understand. He will be 4 at the end of December and we are hoping he will always remember Maile. She really was like his other sister.

Maile, always know that you were so loved and you will be greatly missed by all of us and someday Kobi will understand why you are not coming back.